Movies & TV Shows

Upload: Luke’s Best Quotes, Ranked

Luke is one of the funniest, if not the funniest, characters on Upload. Fans learned more about him in season 2 through characters like his old Vet friend who visited on family day and spoke the world of him. As his dynamic and relationship with Aleesha evolve, it also makes them one of the best pairs on the show.

RELATED: 10 Characters From Upload Sorted Into Their Hogwarts Houses 

He is always excited, passionate, and up for anything. But Luke also has some of the best one-liners on the show. Whether he’s talking to his friend Nathan, his angel Aleesha, or a group of people, he either elicits cringes or laughs.

Go Away, Baby

“Get the f**k out of here little baby before I kick the s**t out of you.”

Luke talking to Nathan passionately on the show Upload.

In a scene reminiscent of the dancing baby from Ally McBeal, a virtual dancing baby pops up in the air to remind Nathan about his appointment with the doctor to discuss options for having one with Ingrid.

Nathan is visibly annoyed, in the middle of an important conversation with Luke. So, his friend does what friends do and turns around to scream at the virtual bambino to get away. But only Luke would threaten a baby, albeit a digital one that doesn’t exist, with violence in the most absurd way.

Don’t Leave Me

“You’re coming back, right?”

Nathan and Luke looking upset in the elevator in a scene from Upload.

Before deciding to download himself back to the real world through experimental technology, Nathan makes sure to say goodbye to his friend Luke. Visibly shaken right after believing he was about to get a temporary roommate, Luke quickly queues up some sappy music and asks his friend this question.

He ends with tears close to his eyes and a huge bro hug. Despite people coming and going from Lakeview being one of the things that doesn’t make sense about Upload, this was actually one of the sweetest moments in season 2 that made fans realize just how badly Luke needed a friend. Even in death, his consciousness was clearly still dealing with the trauma of war.

Grandma, Mildred

“If she’s anything like her grandmother, she’s a freaky fun ride.”

Season 1 Mildred from Upload licking something and looking sensuously.

Of all the women uploaded to Lakeview, Luke found a companion in Mildred, Ingrid’s elderly grandmother who asked to be uploaded as her younger self. Because of this, she appears in black and white. But she also stands out in more ways than one.

RELATED: 5 Times We Felt Bad For Ingrid On Upload (& 5 Times We Hated Her) 

She is confident, bold, and a very sexual being who doesn’t hold back when it comes to her proclivities, wants, and needs. She quickly attaches herself to Luke and him to her. And while he often expresses how much he despises hanging out with her because he has to listen to her many stories, he is happy to be with her for certain activities.

What Do You Eat?

“You don’t eat kids, right? Nobody eats kids.”

Throughout the show, the billionaire David Croake is seen requesting to eat the rarest, most strange things. He isn’t interested in regular food, he wants things like peacocks and endangered species.

During Ingrid’s fancy dinner party, Luke asks him this question as they all discuss the new digital baby program that is launching at Lakeview. It had everyone cringing but likely also laughing on the inside. If Luke weren’t a Vet, he would not have been uploaded to Lakeview as he wouldn’t have had the money to afford it. One of the things fans don’t like about Lakeview on Upload is that it’s classist and people like Luke, as blunt and honest as he might be, would otherwise not be welcome.

I’m Not Crazy!

If I’m crazy than you’re glue and what I say sticks on you.”

In one scene, Luke is very upset, believing that someone is listening to his thoughts in his sleep. In the end, he was right – it was a new venture called Dreamhub that uploads the sexual dreams of Lakeview residents for subscribers to purchase and stream.

During his argument with Aleesha, who is telling him he’s imagining things (even though there’s a glimmer that she realizes what he is saying is technically possible) he says these childish words to her.

Go Away!

“Stop being weird and leave me alone. [mimics nagging voice].”

During a season 1 fight with his angel Aleesha, Luke gets angry with her because she continues to follow him to stop him from doing things he is not supposed to be doing. From stealing things he is supposed to pay for (like a bathtub full of tacos) to sneaking into sections of Lakeview he’s not allowed to go into, he is a handful to deal with.

RELATED: 15 TV Shows If You Liked Amazon Prime’s Upload 

He finally has enough, though, when she won’t stop appearing to kill his mood. He not only says these words but mimics her nagging as though they were a boyfriend and girlfriend in the middle of an epic fight.

Best Buds

“Thank God because I don’t think I could repeat the earlier beats of our relationship. That kind of magic doesn’t strike twice.”

Nathan and Luke from Upload drinking beer together at the bar.

Luke says this to Nathan after Nathan admits that he only pretended not to know who Ingrid was because he was in complete shock about what she did and didn’t know how to react. True to his personality, Luke expresses his relief that Nathan didn’t lose his memory.

He and Nathan, of course, first met at breakfast when Nathan showed up late not realizing that breakfast ended at a certain hour. Luke showed him a trick that triggered a glitch to dispense a single pastry to chow on. Luke might not be the most intelligent character on Upload, but it’s clear he has a heart of gold.

Not My Privates!

“Dude, did you just….”

Luke from Upload in the steam room naked with just a towel around his bottom.

It’s just like Luke to call Aleesha “dude,” but this line comes during one of their most epic battles of words. While of the things fans don’t love about Upload is the way angels sometimes mess with the uploads, something is endearing about how Aleesha messes with him because he finds ways to do it right back to her. After she orders him to put down a free grub he managed to swindle without paying for and he refuses, she removes several of his fingers. She warns him that when she runs out of fingers, she will remove his private area.

Later, when he does something again, she makes good on her promise. He stops in the middle of walking away, realizing she did it and ordering her to “put it back.” When he threatens to call for her supervisor, she returns it promptly, not wanting to get a bad review.

A Softer Side

“Nobody can judge you who hasn’t walked a mile in your shoes.”

Luke from Upload with his arm propped up on a table, smiling.

In season 2, Luke and Aleesha grew closer. During a road trip to New York, while Aleesha carries a large screen around her neck streaming video for him, they have a deep conversation about a fight she had.

Even Aleesha is taken aback by not only the fact that Luke is being serious for once, but also that he is being sweet, caring, and giving good advice. It’s in this moment that both fans and Aleesha realize that there is far more than meets the eye to Luke beyond the frat boy façade he hides behind. It makes this his best quote, not to mention one that completely goes against his personality.

NEXT: 5 Reasons We Love Nora And Nathan’s Romance On Upload (& 5 We Don’t) 

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