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Why The Roles Should Have Been Reversed At Bachelorette Rose Ceremony

On The Bachelorette, Rachel Recchia and Gabby Windey decided to take control and split the guys into to exclusive groups. However, this backfired.

On The Bachelorette, Rachel Recchia and Gabby Windey decided that the format of the men choosing between them was not working for them, so they decided to offer roses at the Rose Ceremony to the men that would mean that they were going to be exclusive with either woman. However, this backfired because all of the power and control was transferred to the men, and the Rose Ceremony roles should have been reversed. On episode 3, Gabby began to have some serious doubts about whether or not she was worthy of being The Bachelorette. On the group date, she felt that all of her insecurities were confirmed when three of the men, Tyler Norris, Hayden Markowitz, and Jacob Rapini told her that they would rather pursue Rachel than her. Hayden’s statement that Gabby was “rough around the edges” and Jacob’s assertion that he would leave the show if Gabby was the only Bachelorette really upset Gabby. Rachel was also shocked when she heard what they had said.


In an attempt to stop the men from feeling like they had all of the power to control who would date whom, Rachel and Gabby decided that they had to split up into two separate journeys. Originally, offers of roses would mean that both women were interested in dating the chosen men. However, at this Rose Ceremony, they each offered roses to different men. If they accepted, that would mean that they would date that woman exclusively. Three of the men, Termayne Harper, Alec Garza, and James “Meatball” Clark, rejected Rachel’s roses because they said that they were there for Gabby. Rachel said that it was humiliating to be continuously rejected so publicly.

Related: Why Gabby & Rachel’s BFF Energy Is Saving The Bachelorette Season 19

This Bachelorette Rose Ceremony should have been handled differently in order to truly give the power back to the women. Instead of having Rachel and Gabby offer the roses to the men, who then had the choice to reject them or not, the roles should have been reversed and the men should have been asked to express their intentions toward either woman. Although this seems as though the men would have been the ones making the choices, they made their decisions anyway, so it would have put the control back in the hands of the women. After years of airing misogynistic portrayals of women on The Bachelor, The Bachelorette producers promised that this was supposed to be a women’s empowerment season. However, there is nothing empowering about watching one woman become upset as she is rejected, only to change the format so that the same thing happens to the other woman. This was a reactive rather than proactive response to what was happening.

Rachel Recchia Gabby Windey The Bachelorette

Rachel and Gabby should not have been put in such a vulnerable position so publicly. They had to really put themselves out there and face rejection, which is the exact opposite of what they wanted. Although it is unprecedented, the men should have asked the women for their roses, instead of the women offering the roses to them. Rachel even began to lose sight of all of the wonderful men who had accepted her roses because she was so embarrassed by and focused on the rejection. The roles should have been reversed. For example, instead of Rachel offering a rose to Alec and having him reject her for Gabby, instead Alec should have been the one asking for Gabby’s rose. Although Rachel might have been disappointed that he did not choose her, no one else would have known about it. This might seem like the control is being given to the men, but they ended up with all of the power anyway. At least this would have allowed Rachel to save face at the Rose Ceremony. Even though this could have led to some of the men being rejected, that would have been part of the normal Rose Ceremony anyway, and they would expect that it could happen. It would not be the same as Rachel and Gabby being compared to one another. After everything that Rachel and Gabby went through with Clayton Echard on The Bachelor, neither one of them should ever have to feel like they are second best again.

Since The Bachelorette season 19 has two leads, things will have to be handled differently from how they have happened in the past. In order to truly empower Rachel and Gabby, and not pit them against each other, the formats of certain Bachelorette traditions will have to change. Now that the women have split into two separate journeys, the season might become more conventional. However, any time that there is a chance that Rachel and Gabby might feel hurt or rejected, every effort should be made to change the situation so that they feel accepted, powerful, and loved.

Next: Why Bachelorette Fans Are Stoked To See Gabby’s Grandpa John Again

The Bachelorette season 19 airs Mondays at 8 p.m. EST on ABC.

Pedro Jimeno

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